Andrea and I moved to Oaxaca on September 21st, 2023, and now, a year later, our lives have changed just as profoundly as we had thought and hoped they would.
The name of this newsletter was inspired by Peter Mayle’s book “A Year in Provence,” and, like Mayle, I have no intention of stopping my journaling. Oaxaca offers far too many stories, experiences, and personal revelations to stop now. The name simply felt correct, a way of providing structure to both this newsletter and the book proposal I’m actively working on.
It’s hard to succinctly convey how much our lives have changed in the space allotted to me for each newsletter that’s emailed out. We traded our 700-ish square foot apartment in a deteriorating 5th-floor Manhattan walkup for a 4-bedroom house with a detached office on the side of a Oaxacan hill. Our view of the grand, twin-towered Art Deco-era El Dorado apartment building was traded for swaying palm trees, shaded balconies, a patio with a fountain, and a swimming pool. I lost my job editorial job but gained more time to write, and we took in two stray dogs and soon will welcome our son.
The days are long and the years are short, and this busy, momentous year slipped by in a haze of Spanish lessons, house construction, exploration, gardening, harvesting, eating, cooking, shopping, writing, reading, and, perhaps most important, of imagining what comes next.
How We’re Feeling
I think this newsletter has two common themes—grief, and joy. I’ve written enough times this past year, and especially recently, about the pain we’ve felt since leaving New York, and the sense of loss we’ve experienced has only intensified over the past year. If you’ve wondered whether our longing for the city and our friends might compel us to return to New York, well, we have indeed discussed it.
But, no, we won’t be moving back to New York. Besides the fact that we live a safer, wealthier, and more comfortable life than we would have been able to have in the U.S., there’s a personal incentive not to bail on the adventure. After all, we didn’t move for the material benefits (although those are significant), but rather because we loved New York so much that it had become, in a certain way, a bit of a prison. We would have probably lived there (happily!) for the rest of our lives, a thought that feels…peculiar. When presented with the opportunity try something truly new, and to learn more about ourselves, we had to take the chance. Now, one year later, I know those lessons aren’t over.
But I miss New York profoundly and often do wish we hadn’t left. Does the heartbreak of leaving home ever truly fade? I’m not sure it does. I guess we’ll see.
The Oaxacan Postcard Project
While this newsletter and my Instagram account help me connect with you and other folks about our experiences in Oaxaca, the anniversary of our first year in Oaxaca feels like the right time to kick off the next part of this journaling experience: The Oaxacan Postcard Project.
For the coming 365 days, I’ll send a handwritten postcard about Oaxaca to a different subscriber every day. Sometimes the postcards will have been purchased, sometimes they’ll have been handmade by yours truly. The cost to you is zero, as I’ll cover all materials and delivery costs; all you need to do is make sure you’re a subscriber—either free or paid—and that you’ve signed up using the form below so that I have your mailing address.
Every day here in a Substack “Note,” and on Instagram and Facebook, I’ll post the front of the card that’s been sent. The back, though, with my handwritten note to you, will be private, just for you or whomever you’d like to share it with.
Remember, you need to be a subscriber to receive a postcard. Not a subscriber yet? Sign up below!
A Few Notes
Mexico’s postal service effectively isn’t able to send mail internationally. As a result, there will be a delay between when I send the card and when you receive it.
If, in the signup form, you provide me with your email address, I’ll send you a digital scan of the front and back of the card. This will mean you won’t have to wait too long to receive it, and you’ll be able to see the card in the event it gets lost in the mail and never arrives. This is optional.
What Is Oaxaca Like For Us Now?
A year in, Oaxaca feels far more familiar, but we also realized to an even greater degree how much we don’t know about this place.
Hardly a week goes by where Edgar doesn’t tell me about some new, novel thing about Oaxaca I’ve never heard of before. When I gave him some Parmesan we brought back from Italy he said (translated from Spanish), “They make a cheese like this near Adi’s village.” When I gave him some kimchi he said, “Oh, they make something like this near the coast.” When I described Sichuan peppercorns to him, and we tried some together, he said, “There’s a tree near the coast with bark that has this same sort of flavor and numbing ability.”
Because Oaxaca is so culturally diverse and has such distinct biomes, every region is substantially different. The foods and ingredients can differ substantially, traditions and clothing change, and the natural environments shift profoundly. It’s unlike anywhere else I’ve ever been.
So little has been accurately written about Oaxaca, and we haven’t even scratched the surface of living here. I’m anticipating that over the next few years, especially as my Spanish has significantly improved, this place will become yet more familiar, and also more mystifying in its complexity.
What Comes Next?
Obviously, the huge focus over the next year will be our soon-to-arrive son. But just because we’re becoming parents doesn’t mean we’re sacrificing the things which are important to us. We’re planning to continue to travel and dine out—albeit, in a way that will be significantly different than before—and we’ll work on our house, host friends and family, and continue living our lives.
Not everyone wants to read about children or parenting and while this newsletter will inevitably speak about those experiences, I’m not going to pivot into being a daddy blogger. You can expect this newsletter to be about Oaxaca and Mexico and what it’s like to live here. If there’s a particular subject you’d like covered, please let me know!
A Note of Thanks
Over the past year, my readership has steadily grown and it’s been incredibly heartening to receive personal notes from you. I want to thank each of you for reading, following along, and for your support. I think memoir writing can be particularly fraught because you ask yourself, do people really want to read about my life? Your continued interest and enthusiasm, for my writing, my life, and Oaxaca in general, is noticed and appreciated.
Congrats on 'surviving' year 1!! "Does the heartbreak of leaving home ever truly fade?"--I also don't think it ever does, but now 'home' is different, right? And when I read about your new project, I laughed out loud wondering how you were going to 'send' postcards from Mexico. Because as we know, mail service is different. In Costa Rica, there is no mail service and locals would ask us 'what do you get in the mail in the U.S.?'. Good question!
It sounds like a grand first year! Felicidades!